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Couples and Family Therapy

Couples Therapy


Pono Roots therapists come from a predominantly family systems therapy background. This means that we are able to see most human mental health issues from the perspective of broader family context. 

We treat couples and families in a supportive therapeutic setting. 

Staying in a long-term, committed relationship is one of the most difficult things human beings demand of themselves. When you live hand-in-hand with another person, disagreements, arguments, and fights are inevitable.


Many couples are unable or unwilling to stay together. Some may want to but lack the tools to succeed.

For 45 percent of first marriages, 60 percent of second marriages, and 73 percent of third marriages, the relationship will end. However, marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce, regardless of your differences. With therapy, couples can learn to resolve their issues, communicate better, and recapture the spark that once lit the flames of their love. 

The key is understanding that every long-term relationship or marriage takes a substantial amount of work and dedication on both sides. When you’re in a committed relationship, your life is no longer just about you. You and your spouse become a single entity that thrives on giving and receiving. 

If your marriage is struggling, however, marriage counseling therapy may be your only hope of moving forward as a couple. 

We offer Gottman-trained treatment, as well as therapy by therapists who come from a variety of backgrounds including LGBTQIA, faith-based, divorced, and multiple marriages. 

Family Therapy

Family therapy is a type of psychological counseling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Family therapy is usually provided by a psychologist, clinical social worker or licensed therapist. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees and may be credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).

Family therapy is often short term. It may include all family members or just those able or willing to participate. Your specific treatment plan will depend on your family's situation. Family therapy sessions can teach you skills to deepen family connections and get through stressful times, even after you're done going to therapy sessions.

How you prepare

You can ask your doctor or other primary care provider for a referral to a therapist. Family members or friends may give recommendations based on their experiences. You also can ask your employee assistance program, clergy, or state or local mental health agencies for suggestions for therapists.

Before scheduling sessions with a therapist, consider whether the therapist would be a good fit for your family. Here are some factors to consider and questions to ask:

  • Education and experience. What is your educational and training background? Are you licensed by the state? Are you accredited by the AAMFT or other professional organizations? Do you have specialty training in family psychotherapy? What is your experience with my family's type of problem?

  • Location and availability. Where is your office? What are your office hours? Are you available in case of emergency?

  • Length and number of sessions. How long is each session? How often are sessions scheduled? How many sessions should I expect to have?

  • Fees and insurance. How much do you charge for each session? Are your services covered by my health insurance plan? Will I need to pay the full fee upfront? What is your policy on canceled sessions?


What you can expect

Family therapy typically brings several family members together for therapy sessions. However, a family member may also see a family therapist individually.

Sessions typically take about 50 minutes to an hour. Family therapy is often short term — generally about 12 sessions. However, how often you meet and the number of sessions you'll need will depend on your family's particular situation and the therapist's recommendation.

During family therapy, you can:

  • Examine your family's ability to solve problems and express thoughts and emotions in a productive manner

  • Explore family roles, rules and behavior patterns to identify issues that contribute to conflict — and ways to work through these issues

  • Identify your family's strengths, such as caring for one another, and weaknesses, such as difficulty confiding in one another


Example: Depression

Say that your adult son has depression. Your family doesn't understand his depression or how best to offer support. Although you're worried about your son's well-being, conversations with your son or other family members erupt into arguments and you feel frustrated and angry. Communication diminishes, decisions go unmade, family members avoid each other and the rift grows wider.

In such a situation, family therapy can help you:

  • Pinpoint your specific challenges and how your family is handling them

  • Learn new ways to interact and overcome unhealthy patterns of relating to each other

  • Set individual and family goals and work on ways to achieve them



Family therapy doesn't automatically solve family conflicts or make an unpleasant situation go away. But it can help you and your family members understand one another better, and it can provide skills to cope with challenging situations in a more effective way. It may also help the family achieve a sense of togetherness.

Some of the above was copied with thanks to the Mayo Clinic.

Couples and Faily Therapy
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